Overcoming Self-criticism.

"In certain states of humiliation around work, there is a mocking and contemptuous voice inside one's head. It suggests that love, respect and kindness only ever come via worldly success and competence...We need to incorporate a voice that separates out achievement from love. That reminds us that we may be worth of affection even if we fail and that being a winner is only one part and not necessarily the most important part of one's identity. - The School of life."

The School of Life, coming in hot when one needs it most. The title is a bit deceiving, but it is a beautiful reflection on our tendencies for self-criticism. I know I deal a lot with self-criticism and this was the perfect video to create some space and give me some perspective. I hope it does the same. Here's to cultivating a better relationship with our inner-self. 

Here's to more compassion. Less negative self-talk.

More rest, self-care, and reflection. Less burnout. 

More generosity and vulnerability. Less stinginess and fear. 

More fun and connection, Less stress and anxiety. 

Here's to Wednesday. Here's to another day. 

Creative processes: focusing on the work vs. the outcome

In week 2 of the Artist's way, Julia Cameron instructs us to put a sign at our work place. It reads: "Great Creator, I will take care of the quantity. You take care of the quality. The sticky note has been sitting on my laptop the past week. 

A lot of my day to day struggle comes from trying to dictate the outcome, quality and results of my work. It's the battle between what I can create and what is actually made. My eyes are focused externally instead of internally. What results is unnecessary tension, stress and suffering for something I can't even control.

The Bhagavad Gita provides a beautiful resolution:

"You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action. Never consider yourself the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty." 

In focusing on letting go of the outcomes and instead focusing on the work, I find myself falling in love with the process again. I second guess myself less, I am more instinctual, and I have more fun. When I am too attached to the results, fear gets in the way of me showing up

I believe this is true for creative pursuits, as it is in our lives.  My job isn't to be a filmmaker. It's to show up, day after day and focus on doing the work. 

I need your help! Vote for Sound Water on Storyhive

In 2011, I worked at the Easter Seals camp in Squamish BC and fell in love with nature. For many others as well, The Howe Sound is a place where people have transformative experiences with nature: first overnight camps, seeing the stars for the first time, learning how to climb, paddle, and ski. I've always been fascinated by the Sound and the opportunity to tell a story about the magic of the place. 

In just a couple weeks, our group will be taking a trip to the headwaters of the Howe Sound, where the water begins and documenting our multi-day ski trip to Mt. Elaho. Our film explores the question of 'why we recreate' and we hope to find our answer by exploring the stories of how water impacts our characters. 

You can learn more about our project over at the link and click through to vote. You can vote everyday until Friday the 6th, so please help us making this project come to life! 

Also another huge shout out to MEC & VIMFF for helping fund part of this project through the adventure grant! 

The Artists Way - Revisiting it 5 years later

I always keep the first pages of my journals blank. I leave that space for a quote, sometimes one I have in mind already and others that are more serendipitous. This one is from a journal that begins at the end of December 2012, the month before starting The Artist Way for the first time. 

“Jump and the net will appear”

I found that quote in the Artist's way and have come back to it over the years. Now, 6 years later, I serendipitously found my copy sitting inside our coffee table. It feels about the right time to dig back into the program

For those of you who aren't familiar, The Artist Way is a 12 week program to unblock your inner creative artist. (Sounds super lame, I know right?). The program was created by Julia Cameron and has existed since around 1992. The foundation of the program is starting your day with 3 pages of stream of consciousness, free-flowing writing and a weekly artist date. During the 12 weeks, there are different activities, reflections and questions that are all meant to guide oneself to creative healing. It sounds way more cheesey than it actually is. 

“Creativity requires faith. Faith requires that we relinquish control”

It's funny going back through old journals and seeing how much has changed, but how so much has still stayed the same. Reading about the head space I was in, my hopes, goals, fears and challenges. It's so odd going back to all these photos from 2012, a time when instagram was just budding. 

I'm excited to start this process again and I'll write about it periodically and hopefully it'll jog some insights I might be able to share. For those of you who have done it, I'd love to hear about your experiences. For those of you who are curious, it would be sweet to connect about it. 

“Things are not so comprehensible and expressible as one would mostly have us believe; most events are inexpressible, taking place in a realm which no word has ever entered, and more inexpressible than all else are works of art, mysterious existences, the life of which, while ours passes, always endures ”

— Riike on Art

An age old evolution to our obsession with Craftsmanship - Shokunin

A few weeks ago, I was telling Lauren how I've been feeling stuck in my work lately. I explained that I haven't been feeling my progress day to day. She said, "maybe you're just making rice?" 

I was confused at first, but realized she was referencing the apprentices in Jiro, Dreams of Sushi. Apprentices may sometimes spend years doing very mundane, basic, work day after day: cleaning, making tamago, mastering how to make rice, then maybe after 5 years they can touch a fish. 

This led me to googling more about the apprenticeship process and coming across the term Shokunin. I had to cross reference the definitions I found with my friend Kai, who then called his mom and asked her as well. We had a great discussion about the deeper meanings of the term.

This is one I found floating around the internet: 

“The Japanese word shokunin is defined by both Japanese and Japanese-English dictionaries as ‘craftsman’ or ‘artisan,’ but such a literal description does not fully express the deeper meaning. The Japanese apprentice is taught that shokunin means not only having technical skills, but also implies an attitude and social consciousness. … The shokunin has a social obligation to work his/her best for the general welfare of the people. This obligation is both spiritual and material, in that no matter what it is, the shokunin’s responsibility is to fulfill the requirement.”

— Tasio Odate

I absolutely loved Cal Newports book, So good they can't ignore you. He focuses on the craftsman vs. passion mindset. Cal Newport argues that we should be focusing on honing our skills, instead of trying to figure out what we're passionate about. Being service vs. self focused. 

I feel like Shokunin brings his ideas a step further. What resonated with me was that craftsmanship has a heavy focus on the quality of the skill. Where as Shokunin takes the improvement of skill further, with seeking to improve the social welfare in its communities. It extends the idea of "serving" with an obligation to serve. 

So what?

After 6ish years in film, I feel like I'm still making rice. The leaps I see in my craft aren't as noticeable day to day, but when I look back year to year, there have definitely been big learnings. I'm continuously asking how filmmaking can be used as a tool for improving our society, instead of creating more noise. When I can connect to a greater why for the work, I fall more in love with the process. I fall more in love with making rice.