You Are Beyonce
“Buried beneath all the anxiety and sorrow and fear and self-loathing, there’s arrogance at its core. It presumes you should be successful at twenty-six, when really it takes most writers so much longer to get there… You loathe yourself, and yet you’re consumed by the grandiose ideas you have about your own importance. You’re up too high and down too low. Neither is the place where we get any work done. We get the work done on the ground level. And the kindest thing I can do for you is to tell you to get your ass on the floor. I know it’s hard to write, darling. But it’s harder not to. The only way you’ll find out if you “have it in you” is to get to work and see if you do. The only way to override your “limitations, insecurities, jealousies, and ineptitude” is to produce.”
I re-stumbled back on this quote by Cheryl Strayed. She's giving advice to a young writer, but I feel like it applied to most of us as humans. Her voice is compassionate and a kick in the ass at the same time. It's a constant reminder for myself to keep my ego in check and get back to work.
This past weekend, I went to Forth Worth Texas for the Film + Music conference. It was such a grounding experience. I met so many of my inspirations and got to know a lot of my peers. I left knowing that there is another whole group of filmmakers and composers who are in a very similar boat to me.
Brad Montague opened up the Conference with so much courage. He shared stories of the ups and downs, even after finding "success" with his Viral Youtube Videos.
I met the folks at Variable, who's work I followed religiously when first starting out. Even after working with the largest clients in the nation, they learned that it all came down to their relationships.
Ryan Booth put how I feel some days perfectly: “It's going to look like you're flailing and that's ok. Movement is key.”
The internet has allowed us to share a life that looks like it's all put together. Perfectly composed images. Curated copy descriptions. Whimsical profile pictures. At Film + Music, I met people who felt just like me: Flailing. People who I've looked up to for YEARS and still feel like they're flailing. I realized that we're all on a similar trajectory towards the unknown. As Jad Abumrad, the producer of Radiolab put it: "We are all Floating through space and all I can think of is thank God I'm not alone. I have my team next to me and we can get through the doubt, together.”
For the first time in a while, I felt comforted knowing that we were all floating through the unknown together.
