I love what I do and still the tiredness, burnout, and exhaustion feel real.
My career as a filmmaker has been short, but it feels like I haven't taken a proper vacation to unplug and not work, since I started freelancing in 2014 (Disclaimer: Nicole called me out on working while on vacation). When I reflect back at the past three years and the volume and quality of work, it is light years away from where I first started. There is still so much more I want to do and grow in the years ahead, but right now feels like a good time to take pause.
I've been thinking a lot recently about what success looks like to me. In a world that tells me to push harder towards its own definition of 'success,' where fame, followers, likes and brand building is constantly put to the pinnacle, I am working on pushing back.
I am in the practice of bringing awareness to when I feel like I'm getting caught in the rat-race of popularity and forgetting what's truly important to me. Things like indulging and appreciating life. Like, real life living. The kind with slow lunches and a bottle of wine, taking naps in the sun, reading short stories (who even does that anymore?!). Things that happen in the real world, away from the phone, away from my instagram, when the wifi is turned off and nobody cares how many followers you have.
It's become a balance of pushing towards exponential growth, hustling to create great work and taking the time to not work, to grow in my personal and spiritual life, and have life experiences. Here's to practicing the art of rest.